Well... It's been a while. I don't know why. My past year has been pretty depressing. I moved from Tallahassee as we all know. Anyone reading this should know that, at least. Unless you're one of those freaks who just surfs blogs. But I love freaks, so it's all good.
I'd rather not discuss the schedule, if you'd call it that, that I would follow during most days in my Freshman year. Only one of two people know about that, so I'll keep it at that. I'll just tell you... it wasn't really as depressing as much as it was just apathetic. Day in and day out I really didn't care for anything. It didn't really become depressing until the end of the year when everyone had their little huddle of buddies, and there I was... a drifter.
It's probably not going to change. At least, not until I, myself change. But enough of that boredom.
I'm now in Texas, visiting my mother and sister. I can't say it's much of an improvement from Minneapolis, but there's a certain freedom about it. Freedom from the eternal schedule and rhetoric of school. The only problem, and I guess this slightly runs throughout my family, and the vast majority of people, is that I'm not doing anything.
I used to envision summer as a time of creation. Thoughts wander and what better than to apply it to something you love? I don't know why I've never created anything. Do I not have patience? A lack of enthusiasm maybe... Maybe I'm young, and little kids don't do anything creative. No, age is only a number, right? Yeah... I guess so.
But here I am, sitting... I've decided to come up with a short story. Once and for all just sit down in this chair. I won't get up until it's done. Until I've fully committed myself to it. Sure, I've said that in the past. But, the past is just that. The past. People say you should leave things behind and learn from your mistakes. What if people are wrong? Lol.
What's changed then? To make me suddenly right and realize my cycle of boredom and apathy is now to suddenly take a turn for the better. Well I'm in an extremely good mood. Feelings are stirring in me that I haven't felt since that eternal bike accident so long ago. I shouldn't make it seem dramatic, because to me it's not. It's that change you say you're going to make every year, then never do. Maybe because you're lazy, or you don't have courage, or whatever else.
When does that change finally happen? I guess you'll see it. It's called the miracle. The break of genius. People always say, "I knew you had it in you." The truth is no one has it in them until they finally formulate that thought in their head and stick with it. I'll be the first to say you can make geniuses out of majority of the population. If people took time and realized how futile their attempts have been in the past to educate people to the point of leading the stereotypically "good" life.
I blame a lot of it on bad raising and parenting.
What am I talking about?
Yeah, it's hard to convey this stuff in words I guess.
A good way to convey anything is short stories. They suddenly have that break in the end. That punch, they call it. It's kind of hard to be productive in such a critical world, but it's all right. Here I go. 1... 2... 3...
Have faith in me, guys.
